fky deni

Famous Quotes: WE ARE!

"I didn't pee my pants...my roommate just Febreezed my crotch..." [chipotle]

"no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, STOP!"

Denise: That Brewery staff sweatshirt really isn't flattering on me
Steph: Not as unflattering as that shirt on that fat girl...
[as she walks by]

"Look! It's our bubble of awesomeness!!"

"Damn, you think he can smell the booze over the phone?"

"Oh I heard about you...you're the girl who kicked that guy's ass"
[taco bell security guard]

"I'd like to motorboat....your back!"

At 7pm
Denise: Rockey, we're outside the Brewery! When are you open?
Rockey: you're camping outside the Brewery??

"Team Viagara!"

Denise: V is smart! He's in that Mensa shit!
Steph: Denise, that's pretty racist...

"I woke up in Jess' bed covered in lotion...I think that means I had a successful night"

"I only have one drink now...can I order that pitcher now?"
[Denise]

"What, you *don't* have lotion fights at 3:30AM??"

"Thanks Denise for picking up the retirement home"
[Drunk Steph]

Hot guy runs by; jess starts to run after him
Jess: I'm coming schnookums! Wait up!

Guy walks by in a #12 t-shirt
Jess: My favorite number is 12...

"Do these slippers make my ass look fat?"
[Brewery Mike]

"i went to the dr's and i had *Everything* examined...even my prostate. . .Now i know how women feel... i mean he went in there, and used all this lube and what not, did his thing, and i was just lyuing there helpless. then i heard his rubber gloves snap off and a box of tissues next to me. i felt like such a whore! he did his thing and then just *left* me to clean up the mess HE made!!!"
[one of my contractors...you can't make this stuff up!]

"ok, I'll be your grandma...but just for tonight"
[random guy]

posted by denise @ 3:15 PM