i never forget a face, but in your case i'll be glad to make an exception
[groucho marx]
wow, def been a while. i have been keeping busy with work and travel - but i figured that redic long survey would hold people over, haha. which, i went through and changed all the mistakes (like a few questions i left from pat's answers)
anyway. i'm going to have to work backwards on this one. yesterday (err, 2 days ago since its 2am) mikey and krissy got married!!! so excited for them. sleepover for sara and i - staying up waaaay too late the night before cause we were so excited. meanwhile the bride was very cool, calm, and collected. and looked gorgeous. and it was even more fun chillin with deniz, ben, fabiana, gerard, candice, and sara. (and duh!! mikey and krissy) after the wedding chilled at mr smiths for a hot min, then it was back to sara's to meet up with phil and alex for some good old fashioned beer pong (yeah...and i didnt make one cup...my bad alex) but fabiana came out, which was awesome.
other highlights included rhino, which actually was a really good time. well i thought everything i did was funny anyway. and going out with gabs which was also awesome (also to rhino, haha). def def doing it again - minus the sketchy boys. haha. (and we'll drag lauren out too!!)
the rook got married as well; that was a ton of fun. paige : "oh shit i forgot! im out on the lake... why didnt you call me yesterday asshole??" haha. chilled with herst, and megan, and did a couple shots with yvonne - mcnitt would be so proud. haha. the whole 231c gang was there ... good times
ive been kinda on a wierd roller coster lately. annoyed with more than one person. the first; more because i cant really avoid this person, just apalls me sometimes. i was really shocked at how rude this person could be; and how thoughless of others. but now, i just feel sorry for them. i would hate to be in thier shoes - i really can't think of any friends this person has. and i'm so lucky to have such awesome people in my life. they all should know who they are - they are the ones that keep me sane. (and sometimes act as the little angel on my shoulder telling me, "denise! be nice!") haha.
im a little dissapointed in myself for being too naive. i trust people too easily; and get sucked into more drama than i really need. i thought i was actually maybe making a new friend; it turns out i was obv wrong. which sucks; because i did enjoy the company, and it's not like im so popular that i can reject friendship, esp since i moved up here. but after being annoyed for a while i've found i'm pretty much insuciant. (haha im such adork - i read that word in a newsletter today and wanted to use it) ive managed to get this far in life with my current friends; i'll live. looks like after that expiration date is past, theres no sense in trying to save it. hopefully this time ive learned my lesson. and if nothing else - theres no need for me to stress over it. i did my part - i cant make someone want to be my friend.
sometimes i think of that cartoon by jules feiffer. its the one where a nam meets up with a guru. he asks the guru, "which way is success?" the old sage guru points to a place off in the distance. the man eagerly takes off in that direction. suddenly there is a loud "SPLAT." He limps back to the guru to ask again, and again the guru points in the same direction. the man walks off once more, but this time the splat is even louder. by the time the man crawled back he is broken and irate. he screams at the guru, "i asked you which way is success! i followed your directions! and all i got was splatted!!" finally the guru speaks. "success is that way. just a little past splat"
def feel like im still getting splatted. but at the same time, i remember another quote (i dont remember where from) "Accomplishment, leading to self-esteem, is not just about doing something...It is about the courage to persist though pain and failure and self-doubt." i really like that; because it applies in so many areas of my life - both personal and professional. so maybe i'm not quite at self actualization just yet (awww mr mamamma whoever would be so proud...yeah psych minor!!), but im ok with that.
aaaaand i need to put myself on a serious budget. i tend to act all the time like money just falls from the sky; but very soon this is going to catch up to me. like next month. sigh.
wow, kinda all over with this blog. i just really needed to vent. after almost a week's vacation i'm back to the real world - rent is due, student loans are a callin; claims appointment in the dirty jerz tom (just how i want to get back into my week). of course, can't end all complainin - i do have a pretty good life. mvp quote for the past 2 weeks has gotta go out to my mom. "you mean the one who looks like a rooster?" haha.
currently listening:
booty call - northeast groovers remix
[blackstreet]
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