fky deni

when i was flying back home friday, i sat next to a woman who was pretty much in the same situation as me: grew up in nova, never left, even married there. but now her job and her career forced her to move away up to new england. she was going through a lot of the things i've been struggling with - strange place, no friends, family far away. i suppose the only good news was i was trying to figure out what i was doing and who i was at age 21 (ok ok, 22), and she was 40.

the hardest thing about moving up here was leaving everyone and things that i was so comfortable with; not only penn state and the incredible people there, but also at home. some of the people who have supported me and been there for me during the darkest times are still there, and now i can't turn to them: no more late night cvs trips to look at random cards and just talk, no more sitting someplace in a car and having a great conversation. and its times like that when i know that this is not the place for me.

sometimes i forget that this is temporary; that it's only hard for a little while; that this in the end will make me a much stronger person.

all this is coming about because i attempted to put my name in for a position that recently opened up. but because i am so new, and not ready for the position that is needed, i am up here for at least the time being. there is still hope; i have both a b and a c plan. don't give up on me yet moco! and i know that no matter what, my true friends are still my true friends and will never desert me. even if i lose friends along the way (which kills me!!), i know that they were acquaintances - not real friends. my dad told me once that true friends were very far and few in between, and im realizing how true that really is.

this ended up being really redic. long, and started out kinda depressing, but i'm stealing a quote from gretch:

It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.
[Alan Cohen]

i'll drink to that :)

posted by denise @ 5:01 PM